What is now named Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (or ADHD) has been recognized, and perceived in many different ways, for probably hundreds of years. Stimulants were used for treating it more than seventy years ago. But I still believed about fifteen years ago that there really wasn't such a thing as ADHD and that it was probably just a way to excuse lazy parenting.
But, in spite of my denial, the first two kids of my second marriage grew into pre-teens who developed problems with getting school assignments completed, excellent students though they otherwise were. These kids had always had trouble doing things they disliked doing, and I could never get them to willingly do their portion of the household chores like the previous ten kids had. But it was the floundering in school that ultimately, and belatedly, caused me to take them in for thorough assessments, resulting in ADD and ADHD diagnoses.
The younger of these two children was my daughter. She had ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Apparently, lots of parents of ODD children actually give up on trying to be in charge of them and just let the children be in charge of themselves. I understand that feeling but refused to give up on my daughter because that would have put her at increased risk in the community. But she fought my every effort to be in charge of her, and to keep her on track and safe.
My son's ADD didn't involve hyperactivity, and his symptoms weren't as much "in my face" as my daughter's were. Now that he's an adult, he doesn't think he's had ADD. I had ten non-ADHD kids in my first marriage, though, and because these two children were diagnosed after thorough medical assessments, I'm convinced they've both been afflicted with this ailment (as has been their father). I was so frustrated with all of the challenges these two children presented that I was quite willing to medicate them. They tried the whole gamut of medications but didn't like the side effects, and they wouldn't take them.
During a discussion I had with this son when he was a teenager-at a time I was highly frustrated because of his behaviors-I stated an observation that just then occurred to me. He didn't laugh, so I assumed he didn't appreciate the humor in my emphatic remark, "You, my son, are the second most annoying person that I've ever given birth to." He was. And his ADHD sister was definitely the first. For many years I despaired of them actually learning enough of the life skills I was teaching them so they could thrive, but they're both doing quite well now.
My ADHD children were quite the same as my others with one important aspect of discipline. My first five kids all threw tantrums...but my last eight didn't. My fifth, at fourteen months, was cured a week or so after I discovered what to change in my parenting style. What I had learned with him worked just as well with my ADHD kids as it did with the rest. You too can opt into a tantrum-free lifestyle, even with ADHD children.
But, in spite of my denial, the first two kids of my second marriage grew into pre-teens who developed problems with getting school assignments completed, excellent students though they otherwise were. These kids had always had trouble doing things they disliked doing, and I could never get them to willingly do their portion of the household chores like the previous ten kids had. But it was the floundering in school that ultimately, and belatedly, caused me to take them in for thorough assessments, resulting in ADD and ADHD diagnoses.
The younger of these two children was my daughter. She had ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Apparently, lots of parents of ODD children actually give up on trying to be in charge of them and just let the children be in charge of themselves. I understand that feeling but refused to give up on my daughter because that would have put her at increased risk in the community. But she fought my every effort to be in charge of her, and to keep her on track and safe.
My son's ADD didn't involve hyperactivity, and his symptoms weren't as much "in my face" as my daughter's were. Now that he's an adult, he doesn't think he's had ADD. I had ten non-ADHD kids in my first marriage, though, and because these two children were diagnosed after thorough medical assessments, I'm convinced they've both been afflicted with this ailment (as has been their father). I was so frustrated with all of the challenges these two children presented that I was quite willing to medicate them. They tried the whole gamut of medications but didn't like the side effects, and they wouldn't take them.
During a discussion I had with this son when he was a teenager-at a time I was highly frustrated because of his behaviors-I stated an observation that just then occurred to me. He didn't laugh, so I assumed he didn't appreciate the humor in my emphatic remark, "You, my son, are the second most annoying person that I've ever given birth to." He was. And his ADHD sister was definitely the first. For many years I despaired of them actually learning enough of the life skills I was teaching them so they could thrive, but they're both doing quite well now.
My ADHD children were quite the same as my others with one important aspect of discipline. My first five kids all threw tantrums...but my last eight didn't. My fifth, at fourteen months, was cured a week or so after I discovered what to change in my parenting style. What I had learned with him worked just as well with my ADHD kids as it did with the rest. You too can opt into a tantrum-free lifestyle, even with ADHD children.
About the Author:
Learn more about preventing tantrumsin ADHD children . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to help ADHD children.. Also published at ADHD Children: Understanding Tantrums.
