The initial step in raising children free of tantrums for their whole childhood is to no longer believe what parenting experts have been advising us for decades-that temper tantrums are a natural, normal, unpreventable, and highly inevitable part of bringing up children. This is just not so. Virtually all kids could be brought up tantrum-free if only the caregivers knew how to do it. I can help you learn how. My first five children all threw temper tantrums and my last eight did not. When my fifth baby was fourteen months old, I discovered what it was I needed to change in my parenting style, and by the time a week or so had gone by he'd finished throwing tantrums forever. None of my last eight children ever threw tantrums because I had taught them from their births on that they could trust that I would respond how they needed to their anger.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
However, not very long after becoming parents, the majority of these experts find their own kids throwing tantrums. This validates their textbook learning about tantrum inevitability and universality, because if even they the experts have tantrum-throwing kids, certainly the inexpert parents couldn't do any better, right? Wrong-millions of inexpert parents have accomplished raising tantrum-free kids. I believe tantrum-free child rearing is highly possible, and preferable. It's also a much more enjoyable type of parenting (than the alternative) for all people involved, counting the general public. I can share with you what I've learned about creating a family lifestyle absolutely free of tantrums.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
However, not very long after becoming parents, the majority of these experts find their own kids throwing tantrums. This validates their textbook learning about tantrum inevitability and universality, because if even they the experts have tantrum-throwing kids, certainly the inexpert parents couldn't do any better, right? Wrong-millions of inexpert parents have accomplished raising tantrum-free kids. I believe tantrum-free child rearing is highly possible, and preferable. It's also a much more enjoyable type of parenting (than the alternative) for all people involved, counting the general public. I can share with you what I've learned about creating a family lifestyle absolutely free of tantrums.
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Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.. This article, How Parenting Experts Came To The Conclusion That Tantrums Are Universal has free reprint rights.
